A vulnerable look inside the final events that led me to quitting the 9-5 hustle, building someone else’s dreams, while making myself depressed, sick, and overweight.

And why I want to help you get unstuck too. 

In 2021 I took what I thought would be my dream job. I planned on calling it home until I retired. The practice was beautiful and in my field of expertise. This was it, finally. 

The dream job was a nightmare. 

I worked tirelessly, wore multiple hats if you will. I was a front desk receptionist one minute, and the practice manager the next. I was the compliance officer, a med tech, personal secretary, social media and marketing strategist, human resource manager, training manager, talent recruiter, events planner, accounts payable and receivable manager, vendor relations manager, promo girl, instructor, educator and that’s to name a few. There was nothing I wouldn’t do. I had hard conversations with staff members. I was responsible for the retention of the team. Which, red flag alert, the owner had no long term team members, and a terrible reputation in the community. And when everyone warned me about working for her I decided to make my own conclusions. But she lived up to her reputation, unfortunately. Or actually, fortunately for me, eventually. 

She was competitive, not only with others in her industry but with her own employees. She was deceitful, calculated, narcissistic, jealous, you get the picture. And somehow, I still believed in her.I wanted her business to grow and thrive. I believed it could and would. The one positive personality trait she had was her sense of humor. And we all lived for it when it came out to play. Just when you had one foot out the door she would rope you back in with the most hysterical story. You couldn’t possibly laugh like this in any other business, with any other boss.   

I was continuously just trying to keep the team happy and intact, and at every turn it was like she was sabotaging my hard work with one ridiculous comment after another. She didn’t seem to possess any shortage of awful behavior. The gaslighting of employees, the badmouthing, the downright disgraceful disregard was never ending. The worst part was, I thought I was privy to private information and comments as the practice manager but eventually I realized that what she was saying about all the employees to me, she was also saying to the employees about me. Who in the world does that?

With a growing list of health ailments, like, insomnia, anxiety, depression, obesity, heart palpitations, still I continued to grow her practice. She was making more money now than she ever had. While the team was threatening to leave I worked against all the odds to secure them higher salaries, great hours, flexibility, whatever it was, I went to bat for them. All while never asking for a thing in return. And at the expense of constantly making her feel like I was the enemy. And after my team was happy, for the meantime, I finally asked for a raise. I had reports, data, and analytics that showed the growth of a lucrative department that I had been tasked with its development and growth. Had I not come with the history, skill set and the determination to find a provider to perform the treatments the way I knew someone could, the department would have died. Instead, It  was up over 800% in less than 6 months. It was the new go to spot for the treatment, out hustling our competitors. So when I finally asked for a raise, after everyone was happy, I was met with a low offer, and retaliation.She cut me out of important meetings, phone calls, staff meetings, and started delegating my responsibilities to other members of the team with zero direction. It got more ridiculous each day that passed, which would only last three weeks.  

The ending was not amicable, it was not pretty. It was abrupt, messy and it felt like I was burning a bridge at both ends while standing in the middle of it. I had no back up plan. No “exit strategy”. Nothing waiting in the wings.. 

My passion for leadership development is based around a long history of horrible bosses.This was not the first, but definitely the worst. And her refusal to take leadership classes while dancing around the office singing the lyrics from Taylor’s song “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” told me one thing. Not only was she an asshole, but she had no business being in charge of anyone. She was a tyrant, and she thought it was somehow funny to knock other women down walk all over them and then discard them as trash when she was through. 

If you are anything like I was in this situation, steadfast in the belief that someone can change simply because you will them to. You are wrong. But you can change. You can outgrow them. You can set boundaries. You can discover your worth. And when every single sign points to the answer, no matter how much you don’t like the one you are getting, you must value yourself enough to get out. You deserve better. We all do.