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How I started to love aging and how you can too.

September 4, 2024

So what, I am turning 50! 

I believe once you hit your forties it’s considered mid-life now, correct? Well, if so, I’ve been mid-life for nine years. And in my mid-forties, the idea of turning fifty was so depressing. I hated the idea. And this was finally the year I was going to figure out exactly why my birthdays made me sad instead of happy. 

First, I decided to speak to a few close friends about the topic. And this is what I found. 

Most of the women, myself included, weren’t happy about turning 50. However it had less to do with the sagging skin and wrinkles than I had expected, and more to do with time. 

For most of us, we had similar answers that could be summed up with one sentence. “I’m just not where I thought I would be at this age”. Ok, so where did we expect to be exactly? 

The list was not long, but similar. Women stated they thought they would be further along in their careers, making more money, better titles, and more time off to experience the fun stuff. The next was I thought I would have traveled more, had more experiences by now, and seen more places of the world. Others said things about relationships, their home, and their weight, but a lot was spoken about dreams. About the “someday” dreams. The quiet dreams each of them had that have yet to come to fruition, and the worry that as time is slipping away, they may never. 

When I asked how they felt about their age and what they saw in the mirror, it seemed to be the least of their concerns. Sure they hated this line or that wrinkle, and wanted to get this done or that. But those concerns seemed secondary and only aided as a reminder that with the absence of youth, it’s more clear we are running out of time. But time for what exactly? Time with our children, and our loved ones. Time to experience all the things on our “someday” dreams list. None of us want to accept that it’s half-time. 

So, I decided that 9 months shy of turning fifty I would not celebrate one more birthday being half happy. I started journaling. I bought a notebook specific for memories of wonderful experiences, a gratitude practice if you will. But this was designed to remind myself of all the things through the years that I have seen, accomplished, achieved, and been joyful to witness. And when I say the list went on for weeks I mean closer to 10 weeks. Over two and a half months I wrote almost every day about something I’d experienced. I would think of memories from childhood, adulthood, my twenties, and all the years leading up to who I am now. And after I filled the notebook almost completely, I felt a little frustrated with myself. Because how dare I feel like I hadn’t lived a full enough life to be grateful for the opportunity of turning fifty? It’s a marvelous list, more like a novel. Even moments that had once been sad had somehow made the list as moments that had changed my life forever, and later made me better because of those hard times. I had already been practicing daily gratitude but this was different. This was a lifetime reflection of all the things I am grateful for, some I hadn’t even been truly aware of. 

I started my business in 2023 and of course this was in my top 5 most favorite achievements because this was a “someday” dream. I had wanted to do this for so long that I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. If you are like me, or like me from nine months ago, and want to genuinely be happy each year that your birthday rolls around but don’t understand why you’re not and or how to get comfortable with it. I say this. Figure out what’s eating at you. Sometimes we need a reminder. Sometimes we need to get off our asses and chase down those dreams. Some days we need to simply be grateful for all of the things we have instead of worrying about all the things we don’t. It was never the number, it was the mindset. 

So here’s to 50 years on this earth. Here’s to not even being close to done yet. And here’s to all the memories, the good, bad and the ugly, that I am so thankful for. And here’s to you. My readers, the ones who are working to get comfortable too. You got this. 

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Lisa

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